Ambulance (2022)

Ambulance 2022

231k? 32m!

Psycho Killer: Played by Donny Darko!

J-Lo: Played by typical hot L.A. chick from Mexico!

Mel Gibson: Hasn’t changed much!

Who wears Birkenstocks: To a bank robbery?

Cops in Vans: Robbers in vans!

I’m more of the sensitive one: I’m just gonna stay in the alleys!

Zaga doesn’t have time to: Flirt!

Pretty much just a: Car chase movie!

Put Your hands in the wound: And spread it apart!

Gunshot surgery: Call for a tee time!

Open heart surgery at 20 mph: He’s awake!

Sailing, La la la la, la la!!!

Obligatory Live & Die in L.A. wrong-way up the freeway scene: Check!

Obligatory Point Blank L.A. River sniper scene: Check!

Obligatory Breaking Bad automated machine gun scene: Check?

Obligatory tons-of-dead-vatos scene: Check!

We’re not the bad guys: We’re just trying to get home!

A new patient: Is in the ambulance!

Sad ending: Butch & Sundance!

But No! It’s not quite over!

Ending goes on and on!

Here comes: The widow and the baby!

Here comes: The cop with the baby carrier!

Here comes: The FBI guy!

Here comes: The cherry ambulance driver from this morning!

Here comes: J-Lo, back to the hospital!

Now she’s in the ICU!

Now she’s in Records!

Now she’s in Pediatrics!

OK, we’re done. 10 minutes too long.

In the pantheon of Micheal Bay films, this one is in the masterpiece class. It’s not Pain & Gain, but still.

And Jake’s still gloating that he got this part. 

Check it out!