The Matador (2005 or 2006)

Julian! Wake up!

I was wondering -- I’m looking for a particularly bloody bullfight: Chug-a-lug chug-a-lug!

Parochial girls: love a pistolero.

Michelle Reis: played by Phillip Baker Hall!: Library Cop!

Hello Julian. Getting some culture?: In-deeeed.

Isn’t she a tad pubescent, even for you?: And then I humped a bellboy on the room-service cart!

I hate these Catholic countries: All blushy-blushy. No ****y-sucky!

I almost forgot... Happy Birthday!: Happy birthday???

Margaritas always taste better in Mexico!: They certainly do!: Margaritas and cock!

Now this smells like a party!

I’m drunk, I’m tired: I’ve been fornicating for the last two hours!

Out of the Blue they laid me off just like that!: Today you are a man again!: Yeah!: And to be a man, after they **** you and destroy your self respect. Well, that is a great thing.

Fourteen years!: Let me guess, high school sweetheart?

Hotel lobby swimming pool shark scene: Perhaps the greatest scene of the millennium!

I tell you about my dead son and you mock it: I lost my wife. I was 24 years old. I was drunk. I plowed our car into a tree.

They respect these beasts. They want them to die with honor: That’s ridiculous. There’s no honor in being killed by a man with a sword: You’re wrong.

Sometimes people need to be eliminated: A facilitator of fatalities!

Corporate gigs: I’m a great help in getting deals closed!

I’m a big fan of: The gotta-pee theory of assassination!: Fun, huh?: You are what you do!

To be quite honest: I don’t know how much faith the woman has left in her.

🎵 “It’s not unusual…” 🎵

Hello Julian. Getting some culture?

I need a break!

It made ME nervous!

That’s why I need a break!

Mr. Stick has asked for other things!: No, That’s ridiculous!: Julian Noble…is a dead man!

They called me hippo hips and plate-o-beans!

Xmas! Denver! Ding-Dong! Who could that be???

Fuck! Fuckity-fuck!: Do you think he would show me his gun?

I look like a Bangcock hooker on a Sunday morning after the Navy has left town!: I’m a dead man, Bean. A dead man.

I was never married: I could have kept lying to you now but I chose to stop because we’re friends!

And to answer your question, Danny, I lie when I have to, tell the truth when I can.

So killing somebody is a good time?: It can be!

I’m gonna talk you right through it and we're going to do the job we came here to do!

✔️ Black comedy.

✔️ Hit Man movie.

✔️ Buddy flick w/ sappy ending.

For those who believe in film genres, this one checks all the boxes.

Brosnan was 52 when he made this. I’m glad he got the chance. Think of what the Bond franchise could have been if they had used Julian Noble as James Bond! Stands the test of time! Mandatory viewing! Check it out!